The Holy Church Begins with Bestowal of Blessings

Chapter 396 : “I Probably Won’t Feel the Cruelty of the World Anymore”

Camilla squeezed hard once again, but her palm already embodied the steel will of civilization. With her strength, this time, she could no longer make Gregor feel pain.She withdrew her hand and said, “When I come of age and need to use it, I’ll be more gentle. But I think, rather than worrying about whether I’ll be gentle or not, you should think more about whether you can even return to Greenwood.”

Gregor grabbed a piece of venison and said, “That’s not something to worry about. The fact that I’m still alive now means I can go back.”

“Besides, Jeremiah said I should return to Doyle City in five days, bringing you all with me. Since he said so, what else do I have to worry about?”

Camilla looked at Gregor, who was burying his head, shoving the venison fiercely into his mouth. She hesitated for a moment before asking, “And what about your bloodline? Don’t you want to avenge them?”

Gregor let out a laugh. “You’re a noble, and a woman praised by Jeremiah for being smart. How could you say something so naïve?”

“If they didn’t deserve to die, then Jeremiah would have arranged for them to live. Jeremiah is a bishop of the Church. Those whom he arranges to die—how could any of them not deserve it?”

“If they died in such a way, it’s naturally because they deserved it.”

Camilla’s lips trembled slightly. She didn’t know what to think.

Should she see Gregor as too indifferent? Or mock him for trusting a bishop of the Church so completely despite being a marquis?

Gregor didn’t pause his chewing and continued, “Besides, isn’t this a good thing for you? They’re all dead now—you don’t have to worry about their lack of friendliness toward you anymore.”

Camilla couldn’t help but say, “I never cared about their presence. At least with them, you had heirs. There were more people to follow you, and the marquisate’s power would’ve been more stable.”

Gregor said, “Yes, that’s all they were useful for. When I first heard from you that they had all died, I even thought about going back and asking Bishop Jeremiah what exactly they had done wrong to deserve death.”

“But now, I don’t want to ask anymore. I’m afraid that if I found out, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from digging up their ashes, mixing them with wheat flour, baking them into bread, and feeding it to the horses.”

Camilla said, “I still have three years until I reach the age of sixteen as you mentioned. Even then, it’s not certain I can give birth to a child. Even if I do, there’s no guarantee it will be a boy, and even then, it takes twelve years to confirm he won’t die young. That’s a long time. What if something unexpected happens before that? If there’s no healthy heir of age…”

Gregor suddenly slammed the table. Even the sturdy rattan wood table cracked under his fist.

Raising his voice in a bestial roar, he said, “I said! I don’t want to know about them! And I don’t want to hear any more about them! It makes me furious!”

Only then did Camilla notice that Gregor’s mouth was full of blood.

She couldn’t tell whether the blood came from the cleaned venison or something else.

Camilla fell silent. She said, “Knight Edwin and Knight Kelton have been gone for four hours. They’re tracking the knights who fled…”

Gregor interrupted her, saying, “They’ll be back. They’ll return alive. Jeremiah said they were loyal, and he had them follow me here. That means they were acknowledged.”

Camilla remained silent once more.

Gregor leaned forward, continuing to tear at the venison.

Camilla said nothing more either. She quietly poured him more wine and divided the venison leg.

A moment later, when the leg was nearly eaten clean, Gregor spoke again. “Sorry. I’m not in a good mood.”

His elbows braced on the edge of the table, eyes fixed on a cleaned leg bone of venison.

Camilla said, “Have you eaten enough? Do you need a woman?”

Gregor replied, “They were, after all, people who lived with me for so long.”

Camilla said, “Among my father’s lovers, there’s one particularly plump. You’d probably like her.”

Gregor said, “I don’t have illegitimate children or lovers outside. After relocating the territory, Jeremiah moved all my bloodline and lovers into the castle. He said this is a strange place, and the territory lacks trustworthy people. Those with blood ties to me are more dependable for handling matters.”

Camilla said, “My eldest brother is the first heir. He lives in my father’s castle, and he has a fine lover too.”

Gregor grew annoyed. “I’m apologizing to you right now, and you bring up things like this?!”

Camilla said, “You are a noble marquis. You need not apologize to anyone—only the King can accept an apology from someone like you. No matter what you do, it is permitted. Because you are a noble marquis. Apologizing is not something you should do.”

“You should hold your head high and demonstrate the dignity befitting a marquis. Only then will your followers continue to have faith in you.”

Gregor said, “Jeremiah said that when you do something wrong, you should apologize—especially when the mistake causes pain to others. Apologizing isn’t about being forgiven; it’s about showing that the apologizer recognizes their mistake. Whether they’re forgiven is up to the one being apologized to.”

Camilla said, “It’s meaningless. It only degrades the noble and gives no benefit to the one being apologized to.”

Gregor asked, “Then, after I apologized to you, did it make you feel a bit happier?”

Camilla was silent for a long time before finally saying, “I do feel a little happy.”

Only then did Gregor look up at Camilla and say, “Jeremiah said this world is cruel. So if we can at least make the people around us a bit happier, even if we can’t change the world, our little corner of it won’t seem so cruel.”

Looking at Camilla, who lowered her head to avoid his gaze, Gregor continued, “Jeremiah said you’ll be my wife—my closest one. And now I think, perhaps I should add, you’ll also be my only family. So I think, if my family is happy, then I probably won’t feel the cruelty of the world anymore.”

Camilla didn’t know what to say. Eventually, she could only utter, “Perhaps the one you really want is my elder sister? She’s in the castle right now.”

Gregor flushed red and cursed, “I feel like I’m talking to a Northern Barbarian!”

That was the most insulting thing one could say in Greenwood.

Camilla looked up and asked, “Are you still planning to follow Bishop Jeremiah’s instructions and return to Doyle City in five days?”

Gregor turned to the side, tearing off a chunk of venison as if venting his anger, and said, “Yes. My mind isn’t sharp enough to figure out what to do now. So I’ll just do as Jeremiah says. He’s never been wrong.”

Camilla picked up a handkerchief and gently wiped the blood from Gregor’s mouth.

She said, “But I think you should still understand why they were killed. At least we need to know what counts as a mistake—what things should never be done. That becomes our experience.”

Gregor said, “Once you become the Marchioness… no, once you arrive in Doyle City, you can ask Jeremiah yourself. He so firmly believes you’re intelligent. Maybe, if all the officials in Doyle City are dead, you can help him with some things.”

“As for why those people were killed—you knowing the reason is enough. I don’t want to know. I don’t care to know.”

“I believe, just as I trust Jeremiah, he trusts me too. He must know that if I understood the reason, I’d cooperate with him. But even so, if he doesn’t want to tell me the details, it means he believes the truth would hurt me—maybe even make me so furious I couldn’t cooperate with him.”

Camilla asked, “What about the Doyle Knight Order? So many times, you placed its title before your own as a marquis. That was your pride. But now, the Doyle Knight Order is gone.”

Gregor said, “Who says the Doyle Knight Order is gone? Knight Edwin and Knight Kelton are still alive. I’m still the Commander of the Doyle Knight Order. They’ve been acknowledged by Bishop Jeremiah—no doubt they’d be recognized even in the Knight Guild.”

“Of course, it’d be even better if their final stand proved their loyalty.”

“But with such massive losses, those damn bard apprentices are sure to claim the Doyle Knight Order is no longer fit to be one of the Three Great Knight Orders. Those pests—if I get a chance, I’ll trample them into a dung pit and send them back to where even flies dream of going.”

“That Richard guy, he’ll definitely mock me too!”

“But once I return, I’ll fully support the Senate’s Knight Guild policy. I want to see it—once every member of my Doyle Knight Order becomes officially recognized knights, and half of his Oath Knights aren’t—will he feel ashamed?”

“And so what if there are only Three Great Knight Orders? I’ll rebuild the Doyle Knight Order and make it surpass the Oath Knights. It will become the greatest knight order in the world!”

Camilla said, “I believe you will succeed.”

Gregor’s rapid murmuring suddenly stopped.

After a moment of silence, he asked, “Will Marquis Shalier give up the marriage alliance because of this?”

Camilla replied, “No.”

Gregor said, “My castle was destroyed. My knights are nearly all dead. My officials—so many were killed. I’m no longer the marquis who was stronger than even the Grand Duke of the Woodlands.”

Camilla said, “Exactly because of that, Father respects you even more.”

“More than two hundred knights, and in one night, the majority were slaughtered, and the rest driven out. That alone is barely tolerable. But the fact that the Senate of Greenwood did it—and deliberately targeted these knights—terrifies the nobles of the Woodlands.”

“It simply means that the Senate that orchestrated this plan didn’t care about the power of these knights.”

“You could ride freely across the Woodlands with just those knights. And yet Greenwood, who didn’t even value them—how strong must it be?”

“Now those knights are dead, but you—the Commander, the Marquis—are still alive. That means Greenwood still accepts you, still needs you. You’ve only lost unstable power. The Woodlands’ fear of you still remains.”

Gregor grinned and said, “I thought Marquis Shalier was so respectful to me today because he figured, after my strength was drastically weakened, it would be safer to cooperate with me.”

Camilla smiled slightly. “That’s part of it. You were too strong before. Anyone would worry that after working with you, they’d be swallowed up.”

Gregor said, “So now, to Marquis Shalier, there’s no longer that fear.”

Camilla lowered her head slightly and said, “You are very wise.”

Gregor stood up and stretched. “Since there’s nothing to worry about anymore, I’ll just be the same as before.”

Camilla was slightly stunned.

Gregor said, “You said your elder sister is… well-endowed.”

Camilla fell silent.